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  • Every Fish has a Tale...

    Doug was raised by his grandmother. She showed her love through the frequent dispersal of butterscotch candies. Doug believes this is how he’ll finally get a girlfriend, who he cannot wait to impress with his extensive knowledge of The Young & The Restless and the evolutionary history of the mantis shrimp. Some people call Doug desperate, he prefers enthusiastic. LIMITED QUANTITIES AVAILABLE *all sales are final* 100% Made in America Printed on American Apparel Shirts Hand-wrapped and stamped in authentic fish market packaging
  • Every Fish has a Tale...

    Calvin eats a lot of cheese and knows 365 card tricks, one for each day of the year. He mostly sits on the front porch practicing his card tricks while his turtle named Willis watches. Willis has social anxiety and also eats a lot of cheese. LIMITED QUANTITIES AVAILABLE *all sales are final* 100% Made in America Printed on American Apparel Shirts Hand-wrapped and stamped in authentic fish market packaging
  • Every Fish has a Tale...

    Ethel likes to tell people she is a dancer, but Ethel is a trick-turning senior citizen. She never washes her mascara off because why waste it? She is an ex-groupie who still dreams of marrying a singer in a rock band. Ethel always says, “Every dog gets their day.” but she still doesn’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. LIMITED QUANTITIES AVAILABLE *all sales are final* 100% Made in America Printed on American Apparel Shirts Hand-wrapped and stamped in authentic fish market packaging
  • Every Fish has a Tale...

    Georgette has two main concerns in life: fine carpentry and her mullet. She hates when men hold doors for her and won’t go anywhere that doesn’t allow smoking. She believes in heaven and dinosaurs and gun rights. Her femininity should not be questioned because she chooses to accessorize with tools. Her motto: You never know when shit’s gonna break. LIMITED QUANTITIES AVAILABLE *all sales are final* 100% Made in America Printed on American Apparel Shirts Hand-wrapped and stamped in authentic fish market packaging
  • Every Fish has a Tale...

    Hugo loves football so much he sleeps in his helmet with his jersey as a blanket. Sometimes he even sneaks his mom’s black eyeliner to draw lines under his eyes like the pros. He only takes his helmet off on Tuesdays when he goes to ballet class. LIMITED QUANTITIES AVAILABLE *all sales are final* 100% Made in America Printed on American Apparel Shirts Hand-wrapped and stamped in authentic fish market packaging
  • Every Fish has a Tale...

    Jacque was born Wilfred Goober. He changed his name when he was 7, shortly after being introduced to painting by a certain man on TV with very large hair. He has exactly zero talent as a painter, but at 37 he is spending his lottery winnings on art school in Paris. He suffers from chronic neck pain from looking down his nose; he calls it his “burden of superiority.” He knows all great artists are unknown in life, which is why he's secretly having his body cryogenically frozen until he's famous. LIMITED QUANTITIES AVAILABLE *all sales are final* 100% Made in America Printed on American Apparel Shirts Hand-wrapped and stamped in authentic fish market packaging
  • Every Fish has a Tale...

    Rick doesn’t have a girlfriend and he doesn’t want one. He fears elevators, change, and packing peanuts. Currently he spends his days perfecting his signature layup style, he calls it The Lick By Rick. Next week he’s entering a supermarket layup contest where he’ll attempt to make 50 layups in a row. If he wins the contest he’ll use his winnings to buy a lifetime supply of ice pops, his favorite food group. LIMITED QUANTITIES AVAILABLE *all sales are final* 100% Made in America Printed on American Apparel Shirts Hand-wrapped and stamped in authentic fish market packaging
  • Every Fish has a Tale...

    Taylor is a maniac when eating lollipops, counting every single audible lick, sometimes even eating the paper stick. Taylor screams a lot and likes telling cashiers “I’ll sell you my sister at half-price.” Taylor always wears a pirate hat when eating kale. LIMITED QUANTITIES AVAILABLE *all sales are final* 100% Made in America Printed on American Apparel Shirts Hand-wrapped and stamped in authentic fish market packaging
  • Every Fish has a Tale...

    Victoria never leaves home without a big bag of glitter. Her favorite meal is cupcakes and she owns over 30 stuffed unicorns which she arranges neatly on her bed each morning. When she grows up, she wants to be the scientist that discovers unicorn DNA because she knows for a fact that unicorns exist. LIMITED QUANTITIES AVAILABLE *all sales are final* 100% Made in America Printed on American Apparel Shirts Hand-wrapped and stamped in authentic fish market packaging

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